Thursday, November 22, 2007

Plumply R. Prouting (Esq.)
Dean's House
New Zealand

To my most dearest fans and readers - and the rest.

I regret to inform you of the untimely death of my mother, who was only twenty four years old at the time of her demise.

The police inquiry finally (after much deliberation) declared the death an accident, despite what they called 'suspicious chewing' marks on the brake lines of her car. Eventually this was attributed to poor maintenance and an underfed cat.

Join with me, friends, and mourn for the monster who dared publicly display that which she did not have permission to publish.

All condolences to be donated please to your nearest Cats Protection League or SPCA.

Thank you,


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Someone has to do it

Mum won't put me on a pedestal,

So I found one for myself

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

It's All Mum's Fault!

Hello everyone.

Look, I know you all think I've been rotten and selfish and ignoring you but it's just not true!

Mum took the computer away and Dean wouldn't let me use his! Dean has done a really good job of feeding me, he's much more reliable than Mum! But there was mention of something called a 'feeding chart' and he had to cross things off when he'd fed me so he knew where he was up to. I didn't think this was nessesary because *I* would have told him when it was time to feed me. Mum gave him all sorts of unnessesary warnings like "Plumps will pretend he's hungry when he's really not."

After a couple of days Mum still hadn't come home. She might not be as good as Dean at feeding me, but his cuddles just aren't the same. I really started to miss her. I missed Elbi too, and couldn't even TALK to her 'cos Mum had the stupid computer. And now I hear she's been flirting with someone else. Oh well I suppose that is the price an ex-tom must pay for not being attentive enough. Though I am sure I could show her why she should come back to me.

So I went on a bit of a hunger-strike and by the time Mum came home she accused Dean of over feeding me because there was so much left in my bowl.

But Mum is home now. And while she's up doing the ironing I have managed to get onto the blog all by myself. I reckon she'll be telling you all about her weekend away - but not till I've caught up on cuddles.

Love, Plumpy.