AND IT IS ALL MUM'S FAULT!!!
She conned me, wooed me, tricked me into her arms this morning and before I could say 'meow' she had me locked in a metal cage and threw me in the car. Then she drove me forever. I think she deliberated drove there and back and there again just to make the trip as long as possible. Then the next thing I knew we were at the vets.
I couldn't believe it.
And to make matters worse she left me. SHE LEFT ME THERE!!! All by myself with the strangers and they had a DOG and they smelt funny and Mum wasn't there. She doesn't care. She did it all to make my life miserable.
I don't want to talk about what went on in there. Lets just say there were some jabs, some stabs, and a pill. (A dignity-destroying capsule of evil)
When she did come back she took four times as long to get me home. Then she started muttering some silly nonesense about me having bad teeth. That my teeth are the reason my eye is sore. Yes Mum, your foolish human logic is inherently flawed! Now she says something about having a dental. I don't know what a dental is, but I do know somethings she was talking about. She used filthy swear-words like 'no breakfast,' 'anasthaetic' and 'operation.'
Well I tell you. When the time comes, I won't be around - and then she'll be sorry!
I couldn't believe it.
And to make matters worse she left me. SHE LEFT ME THERE!!! All by myself with the strangers and they had a DOG and they smelt funny and Mum wasn't there. She doesn't care. She did it all to make my life miserable.
I don't want to talk about what went on in there. Lets just say there were some jabs, some stabs, and a pill. (A dignity-destroying capsule of evil)
When she did come back she took four times as long to get me home. Then she started muttering some silly nonesense about me having bad teeth. That my teeth are the reason my eye is sore. Yes Mum, your foolish human logic is inherently flawed! Now she says something about having a dental. I don't know what a dental is, but I do know somethings she was talking about. She used filthy swear-words like 'no breakfast,' 'anasthaetic' and 'operation.'
Well I tell you. When the time comes, I won't be around - and then she'll be sorry!
14 comments:
Poor Plumpy. I can sympathise - over the last year I´ve had to have two wisodom teeth out. It´s always less scary than you think and you feel much better after. And just think, you´ll get extra treats and cuddles for being so brave.
Oh poor Plumpy. Those horrible kitty carriers are dreadful. If I see Mum with it I just scram. She even foolishly thinks, that if she leaves it carrier hanging around for a few days I'll get used to it.
Fat chance. I know just what it's for.
My predesessors, Spider and Mushroom used to SHARE one. Can you believe it? She used to stuff one cat in, and then holding firmly, stuffed the other cat in making sure the first one didn't escape. The indignity of it all.
By this time next week we will have hatched a plan for you to escape. I once got locked in a garage for three days. They appreciate you then, when you escape.
Don't let anyone touch your teeth. How else will you be able to shoo off those horrid scarey cats that come through your catflap?
Don't worry Plumpy, we'll beat them at their own game.
Love Scaredy. x
Well, I did get plenty of cuddles when she finally came home from work tonight. But I only let her cuddle because I'm lulling her into a false sense of security before I disappear on her.
Scaredy, your comment didn't arrive till just after I had posted mine. Strange. Thanks for the help with the plan, it is going to have to be a cunning one, to be sure. I think they are just going to clean my teeth, I hope so anyway. Mum won't actually say out loud. And I have extra long claws which are super-sharp so the sneaky cats will know what's hit them when Plumpy is in town!!!
Scaredy, Elbi loves the cat carrier! In fact none of them have realised yet what happens when they get in. All I have to do is pop the carrier on the floor and then someone, usually Elbi, goes to investigate. Last time she spent a whole hour in there just waiting with the door open before we shut her up and carted her off to 'that place'. I may have to keep her away from the computer for a while just so she doesn't see your post, it may give her ideas!
They do get one carrier each tho' (stuffing two in would be impossible, Mahou is too big and Beeps too scratchy) - taking them all at the same time is not easy. It involves lots of trips to the car and a cat chorus of meows and cries during the trip.
Ooooh, all your teeth out, eh? Sounds good to us birds...
Maalie, stop trying to scare me! I asked Mum and she said I would definitely NOT be getting all my teeth out.
I am very fragile right now, I don't need this kind of teasing.
Raelha, I think your Elbi is a little odd. But lovely all the same.
Don't take any notice of Maalie. He is just so obsessed with birds and I don't just mean the feathered sort.
Glad you have long finger nails. You use them on the vet, especially if he even TOUCHES your teeth or your nether regions. In fact you could use your nails on HIS nether regions.
Plumpy, Mahou is a little odd too. She's still eating her hip tablets. In fact, she gets very excited when I shake the bottle and asks for more when she's finished.
Hmmm, maybe it would be better if I continue to admire them from afar, and not keep a watch on flights to europe...
Seriously, tablets?
Scaredy loves Valerian. I buy herbal tea bags because it is very good last thing at night as it makes you sleepy, drowsy and relaxed. Scaredy hoiks the teabag out of the cup and plays with it. He then rolls in it and looks as though he is in ecstasy. (or catstasy). It makes him very hyperactive and he races about the house, jumping on the furniture, scooting up the curtains and generally being a little bugger.
Must remember to buy him some more today.
I know, I know, we find it unbelievable. However, she still puts up an incredible fuss with the deworming tablets - she not THAT strange.
Plumpy? Are you still there? Or has she taken you to the V-E-T?
ijnhkghw (somebody doesn't like me today)
Plumpy, we are missing you! Please let us know your mouth is better. I can't bear the thought of all those fantails escaping from you!
Love Scaredy.
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